Making Things Right

First, I want to apologize.  If I have given anyone the impression that chanting namu myoho renge kyo functions like magic, I apologize.  It doesn't work that way.  It is not a key to making the Law of Attraction work in your life.  And if anyone tells you otherwise, they are dead ass wrong, putting a lot of stock in coincidences, and more than likely don't know where reality begins.  Second, the meaning of nam(u) myoho renge kyo. 
 nam(u) - to devote oneself; salutation; glory to
myo - mystic, wonderful
ho - Dharma (Buddhist term for law)
ren - lotus
ge - flower; blossom
kyo - sutra

If you have started chanting and are interested in Nichiren Buddhism, the first book you ought to read is the Lotus Sutra.  Not Daisaku Ikeda's 6-volume The Wisdom of the Lotus Sutra series; but the Lotus Sutra.  Which translation?  Whichever one fits your vernacular preference.  Of course it may mean reading more than one translation; however it will enable you to be able to discuss the Lotus Sutra across numerous audiences.  And do not allow any Buddhist to discourage you from reading the Lotus Sutra under any circumstances. 

Here is a translation of the Lotus Sutra
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus1.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus2.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus3.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus4.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus5.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus6.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus7.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus8.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus9.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus10.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus11.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus12.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus13.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus14.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus15.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus16.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus17.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus18.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus19.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus20.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus21.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus22.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus23.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus24.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus25.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus26.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus27.htm
http://www.buddhistdoor.com/OldWeb/resources/sutras/lotus/sources/lotus28.htm

These chapters were translated by the Buddhist Text Translation Society in USA.  If you have any questions, one good sources I am familiar of consists of the Nichiren Shu school of Nichiren Buddhism.

Person in the Mirror

I finished at Morehouse College on May 20, 2018, and I was a hell of a lot happier than when I had left Norfolk State University six years prior.  Of course, there some differences.  Cost, geographical location, my age.  But the major difference, was that Morehouse College, I determined to chant nam myoho renge kyo everyday.  At the time, I was trying to either get something that i wanted, or just to maintain an emotional equilibrium.  However, as I chanted, I was polishing my life on the deepest level.  The first proof of this was after I had cursed somebody out for pulling up a porn site on my laptop.  There was a time when I thought that fussing and cursing people out garnered me a sense of power, and respect from other people.  After this particular time, I didn't like that i had responded in that fashion.  Eventually I realized that cursing people out was not garnering the results that I thought it would.  Another time was when I was on the edge of 24.  I decided to let myself have more fun.  Once upon a time, when it came to parties, I was a 40-year-old in a 20-something body.  But I allowed myself to have fun.  It turned out to be exhilarating, and allowed me to establish the close friendships that I had sought with my first prayer.
I definitely began to see a transformation in November of 2015 when I determined to change so that my life would improve.  And from that prayer came the chanting for the happiness of those who hurt me in the past, and the changing of so much anger over certain experiences into benefit.  And it caused my relationships with the student body to change for the better.  I have made friendships with people who were born between '94-'00.  I never thought that would be a possibility.  However, this was all byproducts of my own human revolution.  Back at Norfolk State, I didn't care much about trying to understand other people.  It was just mostly about me, and my shit, and my personal hell.   The change in my experience started with the Hakeem in the mirror.  Or as Nichiren himself wrote, "This is similar to a tarnished mirror that will shine like a jewel when polished.  A mind now clouded by the illusions of the innate darkness of life is like a tarnished mirror, but when polished, it is sure to become like a clear mirror, reflecting the essential nature of phenomena and the true aspect of reality.  Arouse deep faith, and diligently polish your mirror day and night.  How should you polish it?  Only by chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo." (WND-1, page 4).

GUIDANCE ALERT!!!!!!!

I am sure many of us have seen this guidance circulating about online:

"A student from Soka Gakkai High School (inJapan)
asked President Ikeda the following question :
"What should i expect from chanting Daimoku?"
(Daimoku means chanting"Nam Myoho Renge Kyo)
Ikeda Sensei replied,
"When you chant 1 hour of Daimoku,
you will see changes in yourself.
When you chant 2 hours of Daimoku,
you will see changes in other people.
When you chant 3 hours of Daimoku,
you will see changes in your environment.
When you chant 5 hours of Daimoku,
you will experiences miracle in your life.
When you chant 1 million Daimoku, you will feel your fortune.
When you chant 7 million of Daimoku,
your foundation as human being will change.
When you chant 20 million Daimoku, even though your try to escape from it, fortune will continue to follow you.
When you chant 70 million Daimoku,
you can become the king of Faith ..........".

For those whom this guidance has been beneficial to, that's great.  I am sure that whoever created this more than likely meant well, however it is not guidance from President Ikeda.  I base this claim off the fact that there is no reference; and also because it is quite contrary to his other guidances concerning quality vs quantity.

President Daisaki Ikeda's guidance, while poetic, is known to be very pragmatic.  Thus he is unlikely to specify  any kind of quantity of Daimoku needed to chant.  When asked about quantity vs quality during a Q&A session during the North Italy Representative Leaders Meeting on July 3, 1992, Ikeda highlights that quantity and quality both matter.  He also said, "The most important thing is to be filled with a satisfying sense of revitalization after chanting.  When we continue chanting in this way each day, we will naturally come to experience a life in which all our desires are fulfilled."  To further prove my point, he apparently gave this guidance on May 4, 1993 at a Kansai general meeting in Tokyo, which was supposedly printed in the October 29, 1999 World Tribune.  Someone asked President Ikeda if it was true that they could break through any obstacle if they chanted 10 hours.  President Ikeda said, " So great is the benefit of chanting daimoku.  Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo even once produces tremendous benefit, eternal benefit.  This is the essence of our faith.  We should have great confidence in this point.  

Basing his remarks on a passage of the Lotus Sutra, Nichiren Daishonin states: 'And yet we read that the blessings acquired by one who recites no more than a single word of the Lotus Sutra are the one thing [the Buddha Wisdom] cannot fathom.  How, then, could ordinary people like ourselves, who have committed grave offenses, possibly understand these blessings?'  (The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, vol 1, p.68)... 

It goes without saying, of course, that if you chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo a lot, it is all to the good.  However, ultimately each of us must decide for ourselves the amount we chant based on our awareness and determination.  The amount we chant is certainly not a matter of obligation or formality.

For instance, from time to time, I hear of people chanting eight or 10 hours in a single day.  I bow my head to the intensity and earnestness of faith of these members.  If, however, they neglect their responsibilities and commitments and just chant away, they cannot be said to be practicing in accord with the principle "faith manifests itself in daily life."  You must not allow your daily life to fall by the wayside or cause others, including members of your family, suffering and inconvenience because of your many hours of chanting.  Nor should you go around boasting of the long hours you have chanted in a day.

Carrying on in such a way can easily give rise to various misunderstandings among those around you.  A person who has such an attitude may be viewed by neighbors as something of a fanatic.  The result may be that the person loses others' trust and degrades the Law.

The same is true within the organization.  There are instances where an organizational unit formally conducts a '10-hour daimoku campaign' or the like.  While there is nothing wrong with an activity of this kind, if it is voluntarily undertaken by two or three willing people, difficulties arise when an attempt is made to impose such a rigid regimen equally on many people.  People have different daily schedules; they have different amounts of time available to them; they have different physical stamina and so on. 

Consequently, it is possible that holding such an activity might impose unreasonable demands on any number of people.  It is always necessary to exercise careful consideration.  Moreover, we must never attempt to make participation in such activities compulsory.  You must not goad people into activities by making extreme statements, such as saying, 'If you fail to attend, you will not be following the way of the SGI.'  

It is important that people derive joy, peace of mind, and hope from their practice of faith.  We must strictly refrain from giving guidance that oppresses people or causes them suffering.  In giving guidance, leaders should always take into account the circumstances and conditions of their members.

Thus, I hope that leaders will give clear direction that, while based on firm recognition of the great benefit of chanting, demonstrates wisdom and common sense, so that all may joyously advance in accord with the principle of 'faith equals daily life.'

If a leader wishes to launch a major chanting campaign and get a rhythm of more chanting going, the important thing is for that person to lead by offering deep strong prayers."

In a nutshell, there must be a balance between daily life and duration of chanting.

Some may ask, "What's wrong with the first guidance?"  Well

1.  It is discouraging to someone who wants to change their life, but lacks the stamina or time to chant 60+ minutes a day.  

2.  It is not necessarily true.  

  2a.  About 29 months ago, I made the determination to change myself so that my life, family, and finances would improve.  In the beginning, I was not chanting 60+ minutes, but I was consistent, and have made breakthroughs ever since.

  2b.  When I started chanting on August 24, 2013, I did not start off chanting 60+ minutes a day, but I definitely saw benefits in my life during that 18-month period before I received my Gohonzon.

  2c.  Chanting 60 minutes a day is still a challenge.  If I manage to chant 60(+) a day, it just so happened because of a pressing need.  However I have still garnered benefits from practice.

3.  It can definitely be perceived as fanatical, especially if the practitioner is failing to honor their commitments by chanting for a lengthy duration, or if the practitioner is inconveniencing others by chanting at 3-4 AM in order to achieve a Daimoku target before work or class.  While there are people who marvel at that level of intensity, determination and conviction in faith, as a former agnostic-atheist, I can see how that can be perceived as fanatical.

4.  The bottom part excludes women since women cannot become kings.

5.  Becoming a supposed king/queen of faith is not determined by quantity of Daimoku.  Rather it is determined by having continued in faith until the very end of one's life, no matter what.  And unfortunately, continuing in faith is only easy in theory.  In reality, it is very difficult.  Ask someone who has battled a life-threatening illness, foreclosure, bankruptcy, death of someone they loved and or admired, or sudden catastrophes.

So let's not attribute this quote, which means well yet is still problematic, to President Ikeda.

Holidays 2017

I can't even believe that my winter vacation has passed and gone.  I am such a far cry from where I was on November 17, 2017.  Usually on the Friday before Thanksgiving, I tend to fall into a depression.  This has been the case since 2005.  That Friday in particular because it means that Thanksgiving is around the corner and eventually the Christmas holidays would be here.  I am usually at my loneliest around Christmas time. Before Buddhism and the SGI, I did not have close friends outside of school.  I would have distracted myself by escaping into the world of the stories that I am writing, watching holiday romantic comedies; however this time the depression was intense.  Given my workaholic personality, I could not just go to sleep because I was depressed.  Christmas tunes only saddened me more.  Not even performing at an open mic made me feel better.  When the host of the open mic told everyone to make a representation of how we felt, of all the things I wrote down, the most memorable are the Chinese characters 哭 and 為什麼？ over and over to my parents and to my life.  Suddenly I remembered a title of President Daisaku Ikeda's lecture in The Heart of the Lotus Sutra.  The lecture was titled 'Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo Is the Greatest Cause'.  While I am not someone to simply act on a title alone, I figured, 'Well I don't have shit to lose.'  So with several chanting nam myoho renge kyo videos on YouTube, I chanted throughout the night.  I did not set a time goal.  I just chanted until I was exhausted.  That was my ritual for the next few days.  Especially during the Thanksgiving holiday.  During that time, I either ate, chanted, or read the letter 'on Attaining Buddhahood in This Lifetime' or President Ikeda's lecture on it until 11:00.  Then I would watch a holiday movie or special on YouTube.  I was really fascinated with the mirror analogy.  That definitely motivated me to chant more and more in order to see my situation clearer.  When the holiday was over, I had two projects to do and finals to prepare for.  My main priority though was my emotional health.  I was able to do my projects, prepare for finals, and even took up a Buddhist practice of Shakyo which is copying a sutra.  I chose to copy chapters of the Lotus Sutra in traditional Chinese characters.  I did it help my nerves and to see what benefits I could accrue.  This is in accord the 19th and the 23rd chapter of the Lotus Sutra.  Through the school, I was put in contact with an organization which helped me get a room in the city I was in.  Unfortunately, the room was a day late and I had to spend a night at the homeless shelter.  Shakyo and practicing for others (chanting for the other men there to overcome their problems, and even telling some of them about nam myoho renge kyo) helped me to not go into a conniption over my situation.  Chanting for others in that fashion was an idea that I had gotten from a few women's division members at the time of the publication of the January 2005 Living Buddhism.  The next day I was able to move into my place and met a fellow Buddhist.  On day three I began to wake up with bites on my arms and my neck.  Come to find out,. they were from bedbugs.  My friend helped me to really clean the room and offered me an alternative space until I could treat my room.  During that six day period, I noticed that she had an unpleasant experience with her own son; I went the hospital where I wasn't seen about until the next morning; and I had a dream of my future where both my parents and grandparents were dead.  I chanted for the mending of my friend's relationship with her son.  I shared nam myoho renge kyo with three people, two on the way to the hospital, and one at hospital.  As a result of my practice, I came to understand that my issue with my blood family was with the paradigm of mistreatment that had been occurring and was still occurring.  I was angry at the paradigm, the likelihood of it being repeated on a new generation, and fearful that it would not be changed.  I let my mother know that, among other things, and we began to communicate more and more.  On the 6th day when she asked if I wanted to come down to my grandparents' house for the remainder of the Christmas vacation, I said yes.  Also on the 6th day, I got the medication to deal with my bites.  I had a great vacation afterwards.  Even though I slept on a palette instead of a bed; even though I was nearly two hours away from where I had begun practicing; I had a great vacation.  'There is no true happiness for human beings other than chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.'-Nichiren Daishonin, 'Happiness in the World' p. 681.

Summer 2017

This has been the best summer I have had in 16 years.  It began the moment my roommate from the previous school year moved out.  By that time, I had already applied for summer housing, and had changed all my experiences from 2004 into a cause to embrace my inner nerd/dweeb.  Without a roommate, I had full free rein to chant nam myoho renge kyo as long as I wanted.  I was worried about how this summer would be for me.  I did not know how I would pay for the housing.  I did not know how I was going to live past the move out date. However there were  two things that were certain.  I did not want to live with either parent again.  I did not want to live in Macon, Georgia again.  With this in mind, I chanted to have faith that's twice the strength of an EF5 in order to overcome my doubts.  I chanted to express gratitude in order to combat my tendency to complain.  I chanted about what I wanted to happen in my future.  I chanted to forgive so many people from my past who had offended me.  This culminated in me chanting for 20-60 minutes a day.  And sometimes I did 120 minutes.  Going off of reading Tina Turner's biographies of how she chanted up to four hours a day after she had initially left Ike, I felt that I should have been chanting for up to three to fours a day.  I just did not have the stamina.  So I did Gongyo 2-x>2 times a day to try to get the same kind of clarity one would accrue from chanting for three to four hours a day.
Of course, I also studied.  I read and reread many Gosho passages, President Daisaku Ikeda's writings, and Iyanla Vanzant's Peace From Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through.  The third book I had bought on an intuitive whim and read actively and damn near religiously.  Through reading that book, I understood that my parents' homophobia, especially my mother's, had a damaging effect on my self-esteem,  and my self-worth.
Even though it took two months, I was able to change all of my experiences from 2005 into a cause to be myself regardless of what anyone thought.  It also motivated me to change the poisons of 2006-2008; 2010-2012; my experiences at my private school and with a teacher whose reviews are ambivalent, my experiences with the Nation of Islam,  the Trayvon Martin case, the Millions More Movement experience, and all my homophobic experiences into causes for being myself, releasing my shame, and being enthusiastic for the 50K in 2018.  Through changing the experiences with my parents into sources of benefit, I  am now up for getting a job that I love, and repaying my debts of gratitude to my voice teacher who honored me more than my own father.  That's why I am back in glee club.  That's how I was able to forgive my parents.  By forgive, I mean that I release my resentment.
Several Soka Gakkai International members who have had discourses with me are familiar with the fact that I sometimes talk about chanting inconspicuous Daimoku.  Ever since I had read Nichiren Daishonin's "Letter to the Lay Priest Domyo" back in March 2016, I have incorporated it into my practice. (Inconspicuous Daimoku is chanting nam myoho renge kyo repeatedly with no goal in mind). I use it as a way to "polish my mirror".  Through doing it, I realized that what connected my parents was the codependent parenting that they were both raised with.  As a result, I was raised with it. And for most of my adulthood, I had a codependent relationship with my mother.  So making the separation from my parents was not a bad move on my part.
In my last blog, I discussed my roommate at the time.  He was one of the best roommates I have had. He motivated me to chant for someone other than myself, and to trust the Gohonzon.  Because of him, and the Daimoku that I chanted, I was able to convince the person in charge of housing to let me stay in my room on campus until school started.  I am a hell of a lot happier than I was before summer started.  Even as I embark on another financial aid battle.

An Unexpected Blessing

This summer has been the best damn summer I have ever had since I was 11.  One of the perks came on June 12, 2017, when a friend resurfaced to celebrate his 20th birthday.  The next time I saw him, he pronounced nam myoho renge kyo correctly after I had shakabuku'ed him about 18 months earlier.  Inside I was over the moon.  On the 15th of June, he texted me saying that he was going to be my roommate for summer school.  My overall response was, "This should be interesting." Turned out, my friend was a better person than ever before.  As a roommate, he has been one of the most damn supportive roommates I have had in two years.  Through chanting for his happiness, I realized that in spite of the 7 year age difference, the fact that I was an only child, and the zodiac sign difference (I'm Capricorn; he's Gemini), we really are alike in temperament, upbringing, and experiences.  The only difference is how we express it.
 He has supported me as I sought to find a way to stay in Atlanta for the summer.  He helped calm me down when I would become frantic at the thought of going back to Macon, Georgia and live with my parents. I would become so frantic that I would claim that death would be better than to live with either them ever again.  I even thought of ending it all should I had to live with them again. My friends in faith, him and qigong helped me to keep those moments of agitation at bay.
On the night of July 11, as the deadline approached, I had another episode.  This time I could see myself telling my mother while she was driving, that I would rather die in an accident than go back to live with her.  That's when I decided to write down how I was feeling.  I did that and read it, and went, "Woah!  If I was to end it all, how would that impact my roommate?"  I looked over at him as he slept, and I thought, "That would devastate him and place another hell of a burden for him to overcome."  Like that.  Thinking about my roommate snapped me out of my frantic thinking and motivated me to choose life.  I chanted to express gratitude for knowing him.  I chanted to express gratitude that he was my roommate.  And I cried tears of gratitude which woke him up.  I told him what had happened and he suggested that I talked to housing.  Before I put head to pillow, I chanted with determination to trust the Gohonzon, even if it meant living in Macon, GA, with my mother again.  Two days later, after much chanting, I felt the urge to go talk to housing.  I went and talked to the person in charge of housing, and she allowed me to stay on campus until school started.  Afterwards, I at first went to my room and spent the first eight minutes crying because I was happy over the result, relieved, and grateful for my roommate.  (Thanks Celine Dion and Christina Aguilera for your singles respectively "Because You Loved Me" and "I Turn to You").
My roommate is my best friend, and my "why".  He motivates me to win in changing my painful past experiences into benefits.  Because for every win I accrue, I am blazing a better trail.  Because of him, I understand the purpose of having a "why" that goes beyond tangible benefits.  Had it been up to me, I more than likely would have ended it all.  I definitely consider this a benefit from all the chanting and the May 2017 contribution.

Epiphany

One of the most interesting experiences I've had chanting nam myoho renge kyo, be it conspicuous chanting (chanting with a goal, desire, need, or feeling of gratitude in mind), or inconspicuous chanting (chanting without a goal,desire,need, or any thought in mind), is that sometimes I receive these intuitive ideas that sometimes result in epiphanies. So yesterday after chanting for x>20 minutes, I instinctively remembered Dr. Brene Brown on Oprah talking about how as a society we have lost our tolerance for vulnerability. As a result, joy has become foreboding. A few of the ways we do it is by numbing ourselves to vulnerability; not fully embracing those joyful moments with the people that we love, and dress rehearsing tragedy. I've had 10 years of practice in dress rehearsing tragedy ever since my paternal grandfather died.
Every time my mother or grandmother called since that day, the first things I have thought, without fail: either someone is hospitalized or someone dead. Especially if either my mother or grandmother had tried calling me several times and I was in class. Another way I dress rehearse tragedy is whenever someone I love or care about has went somewhere that should have taken a short and has been gone for hours. Heaven forbid that they give me a time of return. Because then I am damn sure timing them. And if they haven't returned by then, I'm thinking car accident, assault, abduction, or murder. So I contact them to make sure that they are alive.
Another less paranoid way that I've been dress rehearsing tragedy is not always embracing the moments I have with good friends. For years, I haven't always fully embraced good friends out of fear of a day when that friendship was to come to an end.
Thanks to Dr. Brown, I have learned a better way of dealing with that fear: gratitude. And I'm beginning to do that more for the people that I'm glad to know and have known. Thank you Dr. Brown. Thank you.