In Buddhism, we are to assert ourselves in faith, practice, and study. By faith, I mean faith in your inherent Buddha nature or your inner Gohonzon. For two years (2013-2015), faith had been a nasty word to me.
Coming from a conservative Christian background,and once being an avid TBN viewer, faith was taught as belief in a god who planned your life out and was to be obeyed. Faith was a means of encouraging blind obedience. You were told to trust Yahweh enough to do what you are told, or obey the Bible, since that was his word, regardless of what you may think; what you may feel; or how it may affect other people. Politicians, mainly the Christian Right, have used this to legislate Christian beliefs in our government, and to support certain politicians. They are still doing it with the transgendered bathroom accommodations debate. It is just like how the Christian Right advocated against same sex marriage and abortion. In the realm of science, faith was used to fight teaching evolution in school despite the overwhelming evidence that support evolution; and to keep people complacently ignorant on the matter of global warming. Knowing all this coming to Buddhism, faith sounded like another word for control. However in Nichiren Buddhism, faith means believing in your inherent Buddha nature. It's almost another way of saying believing in yourself or your potential. Why is it important? It is important because without faith in yourself, you will not overcome your problems. Well not all of them. The miniature ones, maybe. However the big ones, not a chance. You will succumb and be consumed by them. Without faith in yourself, you will not have the courage to pursue your dreams and desires. Without faith in yourself, you give up on yourself. Without faith in yourself, you live a stagnant state because of your fear of failure. That's why by 22, after three years in college, all I could say was that I had a 3.5 GPA, and I sang with the choir. I had no job experience. I had no connections and a very poor network. In essence, I had been in college for three years and did not have shit to show for it. It's because of this faith that I got the financial aid that I need for school. It is because of faith that I began to mend the relationship with my mother. It is because of faith that I am just now beginning to move on from high school. It is because of this faith that I did not give up when I was struggling with Statistics. Faith is the essence to true happiness. The other alternative is defeat by giving up on yourself.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Monday, March 28, 2016
30 Months of Daimoku
March 24, 2016 marked 30 months (2.5 years) of chanting Daimoku (nam myoho renge kyo). Ever since the 2 year mark, I have done some great things, and have grown and become happier.
August and September 2015 (before Labor's Day)- I was having financial aid problems and housing problems. However, through chanting Daimoku, and study, I underwent my human revolution and received breakthroughs with both problems.
November 20, 2015- I began chanting to change myself so that my life, family, finances, and relationship with my parents would improve. What ended up happening initially was that I began shakabukuing people (telling them about Nichiren Buddhism and nam myoho renge kyo). However I began to improve my relationship with my mom.
December 15, 2015-January 10, 2016- I was out of school for Christmas break. I shared nam myoho renge kyo with so many people be it online or in person. I even told my parents, my two maternal uncles, and my first cousin about it. I also grew. For those of you who faithfully read my blogs, you might remember the one I wrote about chanting for people's happiness is a way to change poison into medicine. That's something I REALLY did over the break. I chanted for the happiness of everyone who had hurt me between 2006 and 2015. As I did so, the anger and pain that I had harbored for years began to melt and turn into compassion. (This is still an ongoing process). Also, I began see that the high schoolers who had hurt me were just teenagers trying to find their way in a dark maze, and acting out of ignorance. They really were not all monsters. On December 27, 2015, I gave a piano performance of a piece that I had not played for 3 years, and I slayed thanks to Daimoku and Hanon practices. Also, I utilized that event to share nam myoho renge kyo with other performers. Also I turned 26 on January 2.
January 10, 2016-January 19, 2016- I moved back on campus on January 10, and resumed my Daimoku. This time, I prayed for the happiness of those in high school who had hurt me since 2004. That caused me to have a clear look at myself and realize that I was no halo in high school. I might not have always acted nasty, but my thoughts were. I had somewhat of a superiority complex and there were times when it leaked out in school. Also, I reached out to someone who had hurt me 9 years earlier and shared Daimoku with him.
February 4, 2016- I suffered serious sinus problems which zapped my voice and my energy. It was 5 days before my voice came back and even then it was coated with mucus. During that time though, I began to take stock of some choices that I had made and I realized how much I loved singing. So upon regaining my voice, I began to do vocal and breathing exercises again.
March 1, 2016- In case it's not evident, I have the ability to hold a grudge like a sponge holds water. Especially if I am hurt to the point of devastation. So someone had done this a year earlier and I was so bothered that even if his presence burned me up. It had hit a pitch this day because seeing him burned me up so much that I was singing hymns and spirituals. After I did what I had to do, I went to dinner and had some ginger ale to calm my nerves. Then I decided to give Daimoku a shot to see if it could help me overcome that resentment. So I chanted with determination to overcome it. The next day, I saw him again. I am someone who communicates a hell of a lot better writing than speaking. So I wrote out how he had hurt me and passed the note to him. He said that he did not mean to do so, and apologized for it.
March 24, 2016- No breakthrough on this day. Instead I had a disappointing week of two bad test grades. Feeling overwhelmed, I considered giving up Morehouse College and dropping out. However, after calming down, I realized that Morehouse College was connected to my end goals of happy marriage, financial wealth, and happiness; and giving up at Morehouse would make those dreams unattainable. So I began doing something new. I have begun chanting with determination to turn negative aspects of my life into benefits., which is the same as changing poison into medicine.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Nichiren Buddhism and My Temperament
One thing practicing Nichiren Buddhism has done for me over the course of two years was improve my temperament. Back at Norfolk State University, I was a far different person. I was a walking case of sadness and rage and I took it out in very unacceptable ways. I used to pound on the piano keys more than Beethoven, much to the chagrin of many people in the Music Department. I used to spazz out at any possibly given moment. I used to fuss and curse people out at least twice a week. One time during the Fall semester of 2011, and one time during the Spring semester of 2012, I spazzed so damn hard that I flipped over every chair in the Midrise Hall computer lab. Once I began practicing (chanting nam myoho renge kyo), little by little, the rage subsided. I now understand that all the spazzing I did stemmed from being mad at my lot in life; from lack of confidence in myself; from feeling like that I had no say in my destiny and my fate; from feeling like I had very little chance of surviving in this life, in this world. Through practicing Nichiren Buddhism, and studying The Lotus Sutra, The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, and publications by Daisaku Ikeda and other Buddhists members, my faith in myself is steadily increasing. I wish I could go back to that 20-year-old me and tell him to keep chanting no matter what. Because nam myoho renge kyo will benefit you more than any praise break.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
A NonBuddhist Life
Q: Do you ever wonder where you would be if you had not begun practicing Nichiren Buddhism?
A: I don't need to wonder. I have a good clue where I would be and it is horrible. Without Buddhism, I would have resumed my comfort eating habits whenever I felt lonely and depressed. I would still be a Music Major, and a miserable and disappointed one at that. See, in Atlanta, there are a lot of musical acts seeking to get a record deal. Now, I would have, in time, gotten a deal, and probably would have become a famous musical act. But I would have been a very lonely old man. When I watch biographies on several famous acts like Janis Joplin, Judy Garland, Cass Elliott, David Ruffin, and how portions of their life mirror my own, and also, the proclivity for addiction runs in my family, I know that I would have turned to drugs. Of course not heroin because I'm scared of needles. Not cocaine because I have a fear of strokes and brain hemorrhages. Nothing smoked because I value my ability to breathe. But definitely alcohol and pills. Without Nichiren Buddhism and nam myoho renge kyo, all of my fears of failure, all of my insecurities, and my pain would have caught up with me and I would have died a forlorn soul.
A: I don't need to wonder. I have a good clue where I would be and it is horrible. Without Buddhism, I would have resumed my comfort eating habits whenever I felt lonely and depressed. I would still be a Music Major, and a miserable and disappointed one at that. See, in Atlanta, there are a lot of musical acts seeking to get a record deal. Now, I would have, in time, gotten a deal, and probably would have become a famous musical act. But I would have been a very lonely old man. When I watch biographies on several famous acts like Janis Joplin, Judy Garland, Cass Elliott, David Ruffin, and how portions of their life mirror my own, and also, the proclivity for addiction runs in my family, I know that I would have turned to drugs. Of course not heroin because I'm scared of needles. Not cocaine because I have a fear of strokes and brain hemorrhages. Nothing smoked because I value my ability to breathe. But definitely alcohol and pills. Without Nichiren Buddhism and nam myoho renge kyo, all of my fears of failure, all of my insecurities, and my pain would have caught up with me and I would have died a forlorn soul.
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Chanting for Other People's Happiness=Changing Poison Into Medicine
This is a silly question, but has someone ever hurt you in your life? If so, is the pain of the slight still fresh in your mind? Well, I can relate. I have been carrying around years of pain from people who hurt my feelings in one way or another. This year, my friend and fellow Bodhisattva of the Earth Heather Brewer suggested that I chant for the happiness of someone who had hurt me. I had started, but had stopped because the change was not coming as fast as I wanted it to come. Then on November 24, 2015, I had decided to chant to change myself so that my life, family harmony, and finances would improve. I found myself sharing my Buddhist practice with more people around me, even my own family. Also, I began to chant for other people's happiness again. Then a few days ago, another friend and fellow Bodhisattva of the Earth Patricia assured me that chanting for people's happiness alleviates people's pain. So today, I was chanting for the happiness of someone who had hurt me 4 years ago and I had a moment of enlightenment or aha moment. Chanting for the happiness of those who hurt you is an example of changing poison into medicine. You are in essence taking all of those negative emotions of sadness, anger, acrimony, and hatred and turning them into impetuses for your growth and happiness. Instead of hurting you and causing you to suffer, these negative emotions benefit you. So for all those who were hurt by someone, let's chant nam myoho renge kyo for that individual's happiness for at least one minute a day.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Chanting for Things
Many of us were told that through Nichiren Buddhism, we can chant for things and get them. Well that is true. A lot of Buddhists feel that this poses a contradiction to the 4 Noble Truths. I understand. Have you heard that earthly desires lead to enlightenment? Well that does happen. I realized that this year.
I struggled to acquire the funds that I needed not only to attend Morehouse College, but to stay on campus. I had chanted for those things for a long time.I found myself becoming frustrated because I was wondering when will the breakthrough come? Will the breakthrough come?
Then on the Saturday before my Daimoku Anniversary, I went to a SGI study meeting and we studied the lecture segment of the August 2015 edition of The Living Buddhism. After that section, and reading it for myself, I realized that I was a Bodhisattva of the Earth, and as a Bodhisattva of the Earth, I chose my life to show the strength of the Mystic Law. I had heard that before somewhat from Carlton Pearson via his Streaming Consciousness videos on Youtube about a year ago. I initially dismissed his claims that we chose to be here because I thought, "Who the hell would choose to be born into a hardscrabble life?"
After studying that lecture part though, I understood. Also, I realized that everytime I said that I did not ask to be born, I slandered my Bodhisattva vow. After that meeting and spark of enlightenment, I went back to Morehouse College financial aid office that Wednesday and was given enough money to be a fulltime student. However I did not have enough money to live on campus. That meant having to do 4 hour commutes in order to attend Morehouse College daily from my home in Macon, Georgia. It would take me 2 hours to get to school, and at the end of the day, 2 hours to get back home.
I refused to settle for that. I chanted to be able to live on campus. I was chanting going to school, going to class, and going back home. My mother said that the 2 hour commute might be my life for that school year. I was not accepting that. We were broke. It was an exhausting thing for me, and a financial drain on her. Also, I felt as though I deserved to be able to live on campus. With my grades, work ethic, and character. Hell yes I deserved it. There were times that doubt crept in, but I fought back against it.
The commute lasted a week. I kept my faith through studying The Living Buddhism lectures. When I read the May 2015 edition, I realized that before Buddhism, I had never been a happy person. Then yesterday morning, before I left home, I read the SGI story of Barbara E. Jenkins. Following her example, I chanted to take 100% responsibility for my happiness. Afterwards, I realized that even though I had stopped blaming people for my unhappiness, I had been blaming my circumstances. My circumstances were not totally great. Hell they were rather inconveniencing, but they were not the reason that I was unhappy. I realized that I am truly responsible for my happiness.
That Friday, I went about my day, checking on financial aid, and housing options. At the end of the day, I was awarded enough money to live on campus. I credit nam myoho renge kyo.
Now, I also realize how earthly desires lead to enlightenment, and the purpose of struggling for those earthly desires. Also, I realize the while kosen rufu is a main objective, so is our human revolution. If only our external life changed, but our internal life, we would never become happy. Also, this experience has shown me the need to follow my heart in situations like this. The mind operates on logic and in many aspects, it's great. However in situations when I don't know what's going to happen, my mind goes into frantic mode. However my heart does not panic. Rather it knows. Here's to a year of lessons and breakthroughs.
I struggled to acquire the funds that I needed not only to attend Morehouse College, but to stay on campus. I had chanted for those things for a long time.I found myself becoming frustrated because I was wondering when will the breakthrough come? Will the breakthrough come?
Then on the Saturday before my Daimoku Anniversary, I went to a SGI study meeting and we studied the lecture segment of the August 2015 edition of The Living Buddhism. After that section, and reading it for myself, I realized that I was a Bodhisattva of the Earth, and as a Bodhisattva of the Earth, I chose my life to show the strength of the Mystic Law. I had heard that before somewhat from Carlton Pearson via his Streaming Consciousness videos on Youtube about a year ago. I initially dismissed his claims that we chose to be here because I thought, "Who the hell would choose to be born into a hardscrabble life?"
After studying that lecture part though, I understood. Also, I realized that everytime I said that I did not ask to be born, I slandered my Bodhisattva vow. After that meeting and spark of enlightenment, I went back to Morehouse College financial aid office that Wednesday and was given enough money to be a fulltime student. However I did not have enough money to live on campus. That meant having to do 4 hour commutes in order to attend Morehouse College daily from my home in Macon, Georgia. It would take me 2 hours to get to school, and at the end of the day, 2 hours to get back home.
I refused to settle for that. I chanted to be able to live on campus. I was chanting going to school, going to class, and going back home. My mother said that the 2 hour commute might be my life for that school year. I was not accepting that. We were broke. It was an exhausting thing for me, and a financial drain on her. Also, I felt as though I deserved to be able to live on campus. With my grades, work ethic, and character. Hell yes I deserved it. There were times that doubt crept in, but I fought back against it.
The commute lasted a week. I kept my faith through studying The Living Buddhism lectures. When I read the May 2015 edition, I realized that before Buddhism, I had never been a happy person. Then yesterday morning, before I left home, I read the SGI story of Barbara E. Jenkins. Following her example, I chanted to take 100% responsibility for my happiness. Afterwards, I realized that even though I had stopped blaming people for my unhappiness, I had been blaming my circumstances. My circumstances were not totally great. Hell they were rather inconveniencing, but they were not the reason that I was unhappy. I realized that I am truly responsible for my happiness.
That Friday, I went about my day, checking on financial aid, and housing options. At the end of the day, I was awarded enough money to live on campus. I credit nam myoho renge kyo.
Now, I also realize how earthly desires lead to enlightenment, and the purpose of struggling for those earthly desires. Also, I realize the while kosen rufu is a main objective, so is our human revolution. If only our external life changed, but our internal life, we would never become happy. Also, this experience has shown me the need to follow my heart in situations like this. The mind operates on logic and in many aspects, it's great. However in situations when I don't know what's going to happen, my mind goes into frantic mode. However my heart does not panic. Rather it knows. Here's to a year of lessons and breakthroughs.
Monday, August 24, 2015
My Second Anniversary
Today marks my 2nd Daimoku Anniversary. On this day, I decided to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo daily. Not only have I stuck with it, but I received my Gohonzon on April 5, 2015. Here is one benefit I have received: NO MORE SLUMP DAYS. A lot of people come to class or work on Mondays still in a slump. I would come to class ready and with a lion's gaze. I am a lot more confident in my future and I know that my fear does not have to be a reality. It's only if I allow it to be my reality. I know that I will be okay. I have begun to listen to both my mind and my heart. This is something that took some doing after a college change I had went bust one time. I have endeavors to get my Bachelor's Degree in Sociology from Morehouse College; to attend graduate school, though I do not know where yet; to pursue a career in journalist; to write novels; to go from being an okay singer to a legitimate singer; to be a yoga instructor; and to learn Tai Chi as martial arts. I also wish to find love.
It has been quite a journey these past 2 years and I know that it's only begun. However, this journey to happiness is NOT for the faint of heart. It is for those who are willing to challenge their fears, their doubts, and take risks. It is for those who are willing to persevere until they prevail.
As an adult, I've always marveled at the idea of being spiritual and Buddhism answered that desire. However it was through Nichiren Buddhism that I discovered REAL spirituality, Once upon a time, my thinking was that of a voice hearer on some days, and cause-awakened one on the good days. Voice hearers are those who begin to seek happiness and enlightenment through what other people's teachings. Cause-awakened ones seek happiness and enlightenment through their own experience. I am now on the level of bodhisattva. Bodhisattvas seek enlightenment and happiness not only for themselves, but for others as well. They have enormous compassion for other people.
I am so damn glad that I made that decision to chant nam myoho renge kyo. My outlook on life has become clearer and more optimistic. If you want to learn about Nichiren Buddhism, I suggest that you check the website nammyohorengekyo.org. If you are interested in practicing it, then check out this website and chant this mantra with me:
Nam myoho renge kyo
Nam myoho renge kyo
Nam myoho renge kyo
It has been quite a journey these past 2 years and I know that it's only begun. However, this journey to happiness is NOT for the faint of heart. It is for those who are willing to challenge their fears, their doubts, and take risks. It is for those who are willing to persevere until they prevail.
As an adult, I've always marveled at the idea of being spiritual and Buddhism answered that desire. However it was through Nichiren Buddhism that I discovered REAL spirituality, Once upon a time, my thinking was that of a voice hearer on some days, and cause-awakened one on the good days. Voice hearers are those who begin to seek happiness and enlightenment through what other people's teachings. Cause-awakened ones seek happiness and enlightenment through their own experience. I am now on the level of bodhisattva. Bodhisattvas seek enlightenment and happiness not only for themselves, but for others as well. They have enormous compassion for other people.
I am so damn glad that I made that decision to chant nam myoho renge kyo. My outlook on life has become clearer and more optimistic. If you want to learn about Nichiren Buddhism, I suggest that you check the website nammyohorengekyo.org. If you are interested in practicing it, then check out this website and chant this mantra with me:
Nam myoho renge kyo
Nam myoho renge kyo
Nam myoho renge kyo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)