My High School Experience

My high school experience (2004-2008) was one of being lonely, and physically and emotionally bullied.  I tried forgiving, but the pain persisted for seven years. Finally in 2015, I had heard of the concept of chanting nam myoho renge kyo for the happiness of people, especially those who hurt you.  I decided to give it a try in December of that year.  As I chanted for the happiness for them, initially I began to realize that the people who bullied me were not monsters.  They were just horribly misguided and mercurial teenagers like myself.  They were just acting out of ignorance.  Then I realized that I caused a lot of my own suffering due to my feelings of superiority and homophobia.   As I chanted, not only did I have these realizations, but the anger withered and I began to let go of pain that I had carried for 7-11 years. As my internal life began to change for the better, so did my external life.  I began to forge connections with people who initially had an aversion to me.  I began to be more understanding of people. And I began to really move on from high school.  Also, I began to change my karma.  In the sense that because my thoughts changed, my words toward people who hurt me became less derisive, less denigrating, and less virulent.  Because of  the change in my words, I handle situations that mirror the actions of those who hurt me, with more wisdom, compassion, and chanting for their happiness.  Because of the change in my actions, I am making chanting for the happiness of people a habit.  This has definitely benefited my character, and will continue to, and will benefit my destiny.  Nichiren wrote to Munenaka and Munenaga in the letter "Letter to the Brothers" on  page 497 of The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin Volume 1, "The blessings gained by practicing the correct teaching, however, are so great that by meeting minor sufferings in this life we can change the karma that destines us to suffer terribly in the future." I am convinced that had I not changed that karma, I would've been destined to a life of chaos, loneliness, and self-destruction.