I was willing to work around the focus and group study being more on Daisaku Ikeda and his literature than the Gosho, the Lotus Sutra, and Shakyamuni. I have no issue with Daisaku Ikeda. I found his lectures to youth to be inspirational. In terms of Buddhism however, he doesn't supersede Nichiren Shonin, nor Shakyamuni. In terms of literature, his works do not supersede the Gosho, nor the Lotus Sutra. After all, studying on one's own is crucial; therefore I studied the Gosho and Lotus Sutra on my own.
I was willing to endure the relentless and vexatious encouraging to to establish a mentor-disciple relationship with Daisaku Ikeda, whom I more than likely will never meet in person in this lifetime; never communicate with since he doesn't speak English and my Japanese is scant; and will never be able to establish the kind of rapport that authentic mentor-disciple relationships are built upon. Even in my most gung ho SGI days, I could never really establish a mentor-disciple relationship with Daisaku Ikeda. Yes I read his literature. I read his 1995 lecture "The Heart of the Lotus Sutra", his 2004 lecture "The Opening of the Eyes" his 2009 lecture"On Attaining Buddhahood in This Lifetime", etc. I even endeavored to read The Human Revolution and The New Human Revolution series. (I tried to read The Human Revolution first because it formed the backdrop to The New Human Revolution). I even wrote letters to him, to which I received no response. I could never really form a relationship because there was never a rapport established like him and Toda, or Toda and Makiguchi. And there was a cavalcade of encouragement to form a mentor-disciple relationship with Daisaku Ikeda. Maybe it's my personality, but there needs to be a rapport established before I can even begin to consider anyone a friend, much less a mentor. Now I am sure a multitude of members will say, "You can understand his heart through reading his literature." Well I did not understand his heart via reading, rather I surmised it. Now if you can have a mentor-disciple relationship with someone via surmising their heart, then more power to you. To encourage me to form a relationship with Ikeda was like encouraging me to form a mentor-disciple relationship with Dr. Patricia Hill Collins, or Dr. W. Julius Wilson because their sociologists. (I have a degree in Sociology, and I did not establish a rapport with either of them). It's not likely to happen! (Dear SGI members, it pays to learn to leave well enough alone).
I was willing to decline ad infinitum offers for leadership positions after the first time I was a leader. [Personally, I saw my responsibilities (most home visits, fukudoshi, encouraging members to register for or attend events) to be a magnanimous chore for different reasons
- most home visits - I felt to be intrusive and nauseatingly pushy
- fukudoshi - a frustrating drudgery
- encouraging members to register for or attend events - when it was someone who had been inactive for 12+ months and never made an effort to reach out, I felt it to be so nauseatingly pushy. So much so that in the months leading to the 50K Festival, when my higher up leader suggested that me and some other leaders call youth in our district to register, throughout the week, I didn't call at all because most of the youth in my district had been missing in action for 12+ months.. I waited until we did it as a group.
- and one responsibility and bullet that I have been thankful to have dodged as leader. However I would have had to deal with it sooner or later. In the event that I home visited someone and learned that they either had a print off copy of the Gohonzon or painted it on a mirror in the house in its calligraphic format, and tell me that they also chant to it when they're away from their Gohonzon; I would not fly into a frenzy; albeit I would advise them that there are members who will. And if they painted it on a mirror in its calligraphic format, I will actually take my hat off to them for their artistic acumen, earnestness in faith, and be glad that they didn't draw it on their windshield].
What I cannot work around and no longer endure is Article 21 of Nikko Shonin's 26 Admonitions "Article 21: You should not sit together with slanderers of the Law at religious ceremonies for fear of suffering the same punishment as they." http://sokaspirit.org/home/newsletter/nikko-shonins-admonitions-and-nikken/
While this may have been a necessity in 13th century Kamakura era Japan, in 2019 I think this admonition is and will continue to be an inevitable and considerable impediment to any endeavor for world peace or for solving world issues. Is that why one will never find a picture of Daisaku Ikeda with the Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhah Hanh of Vietnam? Is that why they never engaged in dialogue about making world peace a reality? Is that why one will never find a picture of Daisaku Ikeda with Master Cheng Yen of Taiwan? Is that why they never engaged in dialogue about Humanistic Buddhism, since Soka Gakkai purports to be humanistic religion? Even though Master Cheng Yen speaks Mandarin Chinese with a Taiwanese dialect, certainly Daisaku Ikeda could have found a competent translator to help with the dialogue. Upholding this article internationally in 2019 is conducive to tribalism in Buddhism. I have 0 interests in upholding it or trying to encouraging someone else to do it.
Also, I have 0 problems with anyone mixing practices. If someone chants the Daimoku of the Lotus Sutra for their nerves and practices Christianity, that's fine with me. If someone chants the Daimoku of the Lotus Sutra and practices Zen meditation on the side for their anxiety, that is fine with me. In 2019, no one has the right to tell anybody "don't mix practices". I think that discouraging people from mixing practices is an archaic, narrow-minded, tribalistic, and obsolescent way of thinking.
Due to my disagreement with Article 21 of Nikko Shonin's 26 Admonitions and the discouraging of mixing practices, I have no further interests in practicing with the Fuji tradition whatsoever. (And for those who don't know, that includes Nichiren Shoshu, and all its current and former affiliations).
As to whether I will find happiness outside of SGI, my answer is yes. Yes without a doubt. Because happiness is not determined by an organization. In fact, happiness looks different to 7-8 billion people. Growing up, I was taught that Christianity was the right and only way. It wasn't for me. So clearly there is no one way to happiness. And anyone who says that thei religion is the only way to happiness is either unaware of a life outside of their religion, banally repeating their religious doctrine, or lying so you can remain another entity in their religion even if you feel that the religion doesn't align with your personal beliefs; even if you feel that the religion is demanding too much of your time or heaven forbid money; even if you find the religion to be a chore. Do not allow anyone to convince you of this grievous untruth.
I am sorry for anybody who may be hurt and heartbroken after reading this. I am thankful for the real friends I made in SGI. I am thankful for 50K experience.
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