Daimoku in My Life

I'll never forget the day

It started awkward-it ended great

August 24, 2013

I realized that Daimoku was my need

I had misunderstood an acquaintance

And it triggered a realization- a sad truth

Best friends- I rarely keep long

The longest was back in my junior high youth

And there I was-23

With that truth laying bare

As an only child who had been a mostly lone wolf

I really did care

My afternoon was spent

Listening to the saddest of songs

Evanescne's "Hello", Alicia Keys' "Why Do I Feel SO Sad"

Reba McEntire's "For My Broken Heart", Dolly Parton's "My Blue Tears"

And one of the saddest songs through the years

"He Stopped Loving Her Today" by George Jones

Then I remembered an interview

Tina Turner did on SpeakEasy

She confirmed that one could chant for things

So I thought, "Maybe it can work for me."

I chanted Daimoku everyday

For friends to come my way

And they came

But also, I began to change

I began to be more social

And remember aspects of their lives- to my best

And whenever they suggested something I wanted to do

Instead of my usual and fearful no, I said, "Yes."

I became more confident

And commanded acceptance on my terms

No longer will I change for an acquaintance's acceptance

No longer will that work

Quite a bold move

For someone who is atheist and gay

And attending a school

Where most people are Christian and straight

I became a better student

And activism became my drive

After years of being shamed and being hurt by the word faggot

I wanted to create a better life

I became happier

And began to find my inner strength

To rebel against anyone or anything

That was suppressing my spirit

I still have obstacles

And my emotions are sometimes a wreck

But with Daimoku and Gongyo

I'll persevere to my best